Cognitive Therapy for Children

Last week some kids may have went to the new film Band Slam, which shows the ups and downs of teenagers playing in a rock/ska band. This week, some fathers may be faced with inspired teens who now wish to start a band and may need some parenting advice on how to help their kids.

Once a teenager has assembled their band together, fathers should try to find a decent practice space for the group. A garage with sound proof walls may do the trick, as well as a basement. It’s also important to impose a strict schedule at the beginning to ensure practice doesn’t go past a certain hour.

It may also be frustrating for your child’s new band to compose their first song. If this occurs, suggest they start with a cover song (and an easy one at that). One of the important elements of a band is for them to be able to play together. Covering a song that everyone knows will help foster that.

When the kids are ready to start writing songs, consider going to the library and pick up a song writing book or look online. One way to help your child get some lyrics down is to buy them a notebook they can carry around with them, to jot down whatever inspiration comes to them.

Finally, when the noise starts to resemble music, call around town to local venues and ask whether or not they’ll take in local bands. Don’t worry if the gig is on a Tuesday night and three people show up. This is all part of the evolution of the band.

This is a great way for fathers to bond with their children, especially if both play musical instruments. One thing to keep in mind is to manage a child’s expectations and remind him or her that starting a band isn’t about making money and touring the country – it’s about bring people together who love playing music.

As a parent you want to do the right thing. You want your child to be happy and healthy and you know the way you behave will have a big bearing on the way your kids turn out. There are tips on how make the most of your parenting skills. You could check out the many resources available on parenting or you could use some good old fashioned common sense and apply the following suggestions.Make parenting a two-way street. Sure you are the adult and will make the rules and apply any rewards or punishments but getting your child to have a say is a brilliant idea. If the child contributes to the rules, rewards and consequences, they will have a greater desire to do the right thing.Self discipline is arguably the best discipline. If your child can work their way out of a problem without being led by the hand or have you standing over them telling them how and what to so, then the child will definitely benefit and life for you will certainly be better.You need to be sure you understand the definition of the expression ‘quality time’. Kids and their parents benefit from quality time together. It doesn’t only mean being in the same room or venue together. It does mean interaction between the adult and the child with both showing respect and interest in the other. The more and the better your quality time, the better will be the results of your parenting.Giving orders in a threatening way is never a good option. Having children being afraid is bad for everyone. By all means make it clear who is in authority but brow-beating a child only develops resentment and fear. Be firm but be fair.It is no use having rules unless you have both clarity and consistency. Clarity means all rules must be clearly understood by the child. Consistency means that any ruling a parent makes must be in line with previous decisions. It is always wrong to shift the goalposts during the game.Belittling a child is a serious mistake. Self-esteem is vital to your child’s mental health and more besides. Every child has worth and while you may wish to correct even punish, at no time should your child feel worthless. On the contrary, your child should understand that even though they have made a mistake or broken the agreed rules, they are loved and respected.Remember that childhood is a short space of time relatively speaking. When your children are adults you want them to have a healthy relationship with their parents. When your kids grow up they will thank you for being firm but fair. They will appreciate that you have shown them love whenever you decided to reward or punish them.Allowing your child to do as they please without reprimand or punishment is arguably as bad as being cruel towards them. Children want guidelines. They want to know where they go and how they can behave. If you set rules, explain them well and administer them fairly and without favor, you will go a long way to building a loving and lasting relationship with your children.

Teaching children how to safely operate an automobile is one of the most important measures fathers and mothers can take to keep their kids safe.

Today, if a teen has a driver’s permit or license, he or she is probably old enough to have a cell phone too. Mobile phones are a great way to stay in touch with loved ones, especially as they graduate into independence. It’s never a bad idea to give your son or daughter a call to make sure everything is alright.

However, he or she is probably also using that cell phone to send text messages to friends. Text messages can be a lot of fun so long as they’re sent and received at the right time, and the right time is never behind the wheel of a car.

An insurance survey that polled people nationwide revealed that 8 out of 10 Americans believe that cell phone use while driving should be more heavily restricted. More specifically, the survey reported that 80 percent of Americans believe there should be a ban on text messaging while driving, 67 percent believe there should be more regulation over making calls and 75 percent of respondents believe these rules should apply to all drivers.

“In recent months, the debate about the dangers of DWD (driving while distracted) has intensified as more and more states consider taking legislative action,” said Bill Windsor, an insurance agency safety officer. “The survey results confirm that there is strong public support for banning texting while driving. It also provides insight into support for additional restrictions policymakers may want to consider.”

Fathers and mothers with strong parenting skills know when their children are at risk. If you feel like your son or daughter doesn’t yet understand the importance of automobile safety, take some time to educate them. Consider explaining to them that being distracted on the road could potentially be dangerous and urge them to refrain from using the phone while driving.

One PGA golfer is using text messages and nightly telephone calls to maintain a relationship with his two teenage daughters while he’s out on tour.

Paul Goydos, 44, told the New York Times the calls helps him sleep better and he insists they call him when they go out with friends or are leaving work, despite how late it may be.

“I do think that sometimes he can worry too much,” Chelsea, 18, told the Times. “I try to tell him we can handle ourselves. I’ll say, ‘If we need you, we’ll text you.’”

While the daily contact is important for their father-daughter relationship, Goydos told the news provider it’s also a way for him to be “hyperalert” to his daughters’ emotional state.

In January, Goydos’ ex-wife and mother of his daughters, Wendy, died unexpectedly, according to the article. It was reported she suffered from an addiction to prescription medication she took for migraine headaches.

Since then, Goydos said he has encouraged his daughters to seek counseling for their feelings, especially if they feel like they can’t speak to him.

“To be honest with you, I think the last thing they want to do is talk to me about those things,” the golfer said.

Death can be a difficult subject for children to deal with and how they handle the situation may depend on their age.

Younger children may not be able to process the concept of death or the finality of it. While it may be tempting to hide the pain from children, studies have shown that in the long run it does not benefit them.

Instead, fathers should use their single parenting skills to approach the issue honestly and directly, and to be prepared for tears.

With teenage children, it is important for them to express their emotions, either through some artistic endeavor, talking to a counselor or talking to you. Not giving a teenager an outlet to express what they’re feeling may lead them to bottle up their emotions, which can cause psychological problems in the future.

As a child enters his or her teenage years, some fathers may fear the inevitable situation of watching their offspring get introduced into the dating world.

While it may be easy to feel upset or experience an increased amount of worry during this process, fathers should be reminded to keep a calm head and to keep the lines of communication open between him and his teenage child.

One way to start a healthy conversation about relationships is for fathers to stay informed on who their son or daughter is hanging out with or talking about from school.

Avoid asking too many questions or ones that may appear judgmental. Teenagers can be highly sensitive and a certain comment or tone can be taken the wrong way.

Try open-ended questions like asking what the person is like or how the two of them met. This will help a father be more involved and may lessen the apprehension when their teenager informs them of a date on a Friday night.

When this happens, fathers should feel free to use their parenting skills to inform their children about dating safety and to not be afraid to speak up if something feels off or strange.

One way to help a teenager relate to his aspect is to have an open conversation about the recent incident involving pop singers Chris Brown and Rihanna. Again, avoid passing judgment with regard to the situation and instead ask what the teenager thinks about it.

Finally, concerning the dreaded sex discussion, fathers should not shy away from such topics and should plan on having several talks instead of just one, which is what some parents typically did in the past.

This is about personal safety for the teenager and should be handled with respect and care. For fathers who have developed a healthy, open relationship with his children, being honest is perhaps the best way to build on their trust.

According to a study in the UK, childhood obesity may be tied to the relationships and actions of a parent, as opposed to genetics.

The research was published in the July 13 issue of the International Journal of Obesity and found that sons of fathers who are clinically obese have an increased chance of struggling with weight problems compared to sons whose fathers are not obese.

Though the same weight issue existed in the daughter-mother relationship, it failed to appear with sons and their mothers or with daughters and their fathers.

“Any genetic link between obese parents and their children would be indiscriminate of gender,” said study director Terry Wilkin. “The clearly defined gender-assortative pattern which our research has uncovered is an exciting one because it points towards behavioral factors at work in childhood obesity.”

Because of the behavioral factors mentioned by Wilkin, the study suggests that if fathers use their parenting skills to alter or completely change their eating habits, they may positively affect the health of their child.

Changing one’s diet is not easy and should be approached carefully and done in baby steps. Consider substituting one aspect of your diet instead of abruptly shifting gears. One way is to replace white rice with brown rice or white bread with wheat, both of which are healthier alternatives.

The next step may be to curtail the amount of soft drinks one consumes and instead pour glasses of water. Drinking more water has been shown to help people lose weight and lead healthier lives.

Also consider having the family get into the routine of taking one multi-vitamin a day. There are children’s versions of vitamins sold in grocery stores.

Finally, and this may be the hardest to implement, fewer visits to the local fast food restaurant will help as well. Again, do this gradually. McDonalds now has healthy choices on its menu such as Apple Dippers instead of French fries.

New research has emerged that offers some insight into how teenage girls deal with their peers and how that interaction can affect them emotionally.

The study was conducted at the National Institute of Mental Health and at Georgia State University, and examined teenagers aged 9 to 17 who were described as “white, psychiatrically healthy Americans.”

Participants were told to look at photos of their peers and rate their interest in spending time with each one. Afterwards, they were told to do the same thing, only this time they were given a brain scan and told they would be matched with one of the peers afterwards for a chat.

With teenage girls, it was found that older groups responded differently to the pictures when they thought about “being judged by their peers,” according to the researchers.

“The findings offer a fresh perspective on how changes in the brain relate to changes in the way young people think and feel about how their peers view them,” said Amanda E. Guyer, a research fellow the institute who led the study.

She added the evidence could be important for parents who were trying to assist their child to adjust socially during adolescence.

This may also be important for fathers who have a teenage daughter who appears to be depressed. Past studies have shown that some teenage girls experience depression during their adolescence and should be handled carefully.

Fathers are encouraged to use their parenting skills to communicate with their daughters as a way to get them to express their feelings. Sometimes if a child appears to be a bit more withdrawn, suggesting an artistic outlet may help, such as painting or writing in a journal.

Building confidence can be key for a child, especially during their teenage years. Parents who encourage their children to join a group, club or organized sports can help boost their confidence.

Fathers may need to employ their parenting skills to get their kids outdoors more often so they can be exposed to more sunlight.

A new study has suggested that approximately 7.6 million children in the U.S. may have low levels of vitamin D. The most abundant source for this nutrient is exposure to natural sunlight.

Researchers at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine of Yeshiva University conducted the study that examined more than 6,000 children to see what their vitamin D levels might be.

A total of 9 percent of the study sample, which the study authors said was equivalent to 7.6 million children in the U.S., were found to be vitamin D deficient. Another 61 percent were found to be vitamin D insufficient.

Low levels of vitamin D have been linked to an increased risk of diabetes, heart disease and decreased bone health.

“We expected the prevalence of vitamin D deficiency would be high, but the magnitude of the problem nationwide was shocking,” lead author Dr Juhi Kumar, a fellow in pediatrics at Children’s Hospital at Montefiore Medical Center at Einstein College, said.

In the past there have been several small studies that targeted small pockets of children in the general population, but this is the first to cover the issue of vitamin D deficiency on a nationwide basis.

Some health officials have said that part of the reason some children may not be getting enough vitamin D is because they are spending too much time indoors, presumably watching television, using the internet or playing video games.

Fathers who may be concerned with the overall health of their son or daughter should use their parenting skills to convince their children to spend time outdoors.

This doesn’t mean barking an order. Instead, consider using this as an opportunity to plan a family event, such as hiking a nearby trail or going to the beach.

For some fathers and their children, it’s all about the music.

A new study from the Pew Research Center has found that a shared appreciate of the Beatles’ catalogue has helped bridge the generation gap in America. This suggests fathers may be able to combine one of their favorite musical groups with their parenting skills.

The researchers for the study state that “there’s now broad agreement across the generations about one realm of American culture that had been an intense battlefield in the 1960s: the music,” the New York Times reports.

The study focused on those aged 16 through 64 and found that the group as a whole listened to rock music more than another other format. When asked to rank their favorite bands, the Beatles were in the top four among every group surveyed.

And come this fall, there may be another way for the different generations to share their love for the Beatles, provided they have a Playstation 3, Xbox 360 or a Nintendo Wii.

The new Rock Band game featuring the Beatles music will be released on September 9 and is a rare occasion when the group has licensed their music for use.

In terms of parenting skills, this represents an emerging trend that is helping older generations bond with younger ones.

Pop parenting, which is when a parent and child share a common interest in music, movies or books, has also presented opportunities for fathers and mothers to broach certain subjects that may be difficult to bring up in conversation otherwise.

It’s been reported that some fathers have used certain albums or movies to talk to their teenagers about drug use and practicing safe sex (or in some cases offering examples of why it’s good to remain abstinent).

However, fathers should use their parenting skills and be sure not to force their interests onto their child. It may be easier to speak to your son or daughter, determine what they are into and go from there. Eventually, this can lead to both generations sharing their favorite music and movies.

For a world that seems to have the fast-forward button pressed indefinitely, slowing down aspects of parenting may just be the right idea.

It’s a new trend that’s emerging and has taken aim at the multitasking father who is scheduling acting classes on the cell phone while dropping the kids off at soccer practice. Instead, the idea is to slow down, discover the important activities and take the time to concentrate on those.

The idea has been credited to author Carl Honore whose book The Power of Slow: Finding Balance and Fulfillment Beyond the Cult of Speed served as the impetus of the slow parenting movement.  Though he never actually mentions the term “slow parenting” in the book, the author recently told the New York Times that the term has “gained currency” and he’s happy to use it.

“Slow parenting is about bringing balance into the home,” Honore explained to the Times. “Children need to strive and struggle and stretch themselves, but that does not mean childhood should be a race. Slow parents give their children plenty of time and space to explore the world on their own terms.”

This means doing away with what some have called helicopter parenting, with fathers and mothers possibly being too involved in their child’s life.

Instead, the philosophy dictates fathers should use their parenting skills to have an open dialogue with their children as well as identifying when to avoid pushing their child too hard into one activity.

One common example that is given in various stories is the idea of the gifted child (one who presents an above-average skill in something like art or music). Some parents will hear the term “gifted” from a teacher or instructor and immediately begin thinking of enrolling their child in after-school programs to foster their potential.

The slow parenting movement suggests avoiding this type of action and instead says parents should allow their child to come into their own in a more natural manner.