Most of the parent-child conflicts are those centred on daily activities like going to bed or waking up, limitations of going outdoors and school homework. Many parents feel as they are engaged in a constant power struggle with their children. Parents feel frustrated and worn out and the children feel questioned and irritated. In cases of extreme hostility between the two, a child may feel threatened and determined to resist his parents’ wishes.

Authoritative Parenting?

Some parents are prone to threatening or using extreme authority over the children. They tend to make many demands and enforce them with punishment or promises. When the child crosses teenage years, such parents usually find themselves involved in a bitter struggle with their child. Even if children aren’t immediately resisting parental demands, parents could still be generating a negative environment every time they attempt to exert supremacy over the children.

The Dilemma

Most parents want their children to have the characters and the skills which enable them to make the best choices in life. However, they seem to ignore the fact that these skills can’t be developed if a child develops a fear of blame or parental punishment. Anger and resentment is common among children today as they try and fight out the level of parental control exerted on them. These negative feelings of anger and bitterness are sometimes expressed through self-destructive habits that a child develops. Many such children become violent at school, start using abusive behaviour or may get hooked on to bad company and the use of alcohol or even drugs.

Finding a Solution

Peaceful parenting begins from the time children are toddlers. The child at that age has to be made to realise what is wrong and not acceptable. The best way to make him follow a rule is leading by example. Again, to let him feel empowered, try and make the child responsible for certain household issues when he grows up. This could include taking care of the toolbox or buying the weekly quota of fruits for the family or keeping an eye as to which member of the family has been overspending. This process combines self-realisation and responsibility for the child. These skills help to create children who can embrace understanding and peace and are at ease with the idea of being disciplined and liberated at the same time.

The importance of parental involvement as an accelerating and motivating factor in their children’s education is a worldwide-accepted fact. This research project provides an in depth explanation along with specific reasons, the importance of parents’ involvement in their children’s education. It also discusses the parenting techniques, their types and their consequences if neglected. It also describes the ways to measure the outcome of the positive parental involvement. Furthermore, it mentions the teachers involvement and the difficulties faced by the teachers in getting parents involved in their children’s (this is further supported by the examples of two teachers who with their deliberate efforts won the parents over to devote their maximum attention towards their children), single-parent involvement, children’s own efforts to improve their academic levels and joint home-school based interventions. A detailed analysis of the different main ideas is given, based on the findings from other research surveys and projects.

INTRODUCTION:

Parental involvement can be seen to fall into three types: 1) Behavioral, 2) Intellectual and 3) Personal. The research explores the effect of multi-dimensional participation of parents and the resulting progress of children in their studies when different parental resources were dedicated to them. Actively participating parents help their children in their academic development by going to schools and participating in open houses. By keenly observing the behavior of their children they can rightly judge the kind of behavior or the allocation of resources required by their children. Such caring parents can also motivate teachers to become more attentive towards a particular student, thus maintaining the cycle of parent-teacher involvement. Encourage Building up cognitive and perception abilities in a child are a major concern in the upbringing of the child. The way the parents involve their children in cognitive learning is by exposing them to different cognitively stimulating activities and materials such as books, electronic media and current events at home. This helps the child to practice all sorts of language comprehending skills at the school. The results show a remarkably positive behavior at the school and with peers.

Two parenting processes namely the Supportive Parenting (SP) and Harsh Parenting (HP) helped a lot in the research of parental involvement in their children’s education. By adjusting the levels of supportive parenting, different levels of successful outcomes were observed. Supportive parenting in even kindergarten students yielded positive results. Four measures of supportive parenting were used in the study, they were:

1. Proactive teaching.

2. Calm discussion in disciplinary encounters.

3. Warmth.

4. Interest and involvement in peer activities.

The assessments were conducted when children entered kindergarten and when they reached grade 6. There was a factor noted to hinder children’s development: family adversity. It was the result of a multipurpose negative process that included the risk of low socio-economic status, single-parenting and family stress. Child maladjustments were found to be more common in families with such adversities. No matter how much negative impacts were cast, SP was found to overcome the risks associated with family adversity. SP was strongly related to adjustment procedures in grade 6 children who had single parent family or experienced low socio-economic status (SES) in their early childhood.

In a way to socialize their children, parents adopted the techniques of calm discussion and proactive teaching. They helped lessen the behavioral problems by carrying long discussions with their children, cultivating in them a sense of respect, calmness and peace of mind. Mothers also participated actively in reducing the peer stress among their children. It is also a widely accepted fact that supportive parenting plays an important role in the children’s development of empathy, prosocial behavior and emotional competence. On the negative side, the absence of supportive parenting may be related to the development of internal problems such as anxiety and depression.

Lack of the necessary parental care and attention is the main factor for the subsequent rise in the percentage of juvenile delinquency (crime among children). The absence of parental instructions causes children to develop irreversible behavioral and emotional problems. They in order to seek attention, resort to crimes thinking that in this way they could fulfill their wishes. They may revert to uncontrolled violence if not kept an eye upon. Such criminal activities cannot be brought to a halt until their distressing symptoms of low self-esteem, depression, dysphonic mood, tension and worries, and other disturbances are relieved. And the importance of parents’ role in this regard cannot be over-emphasized.

In an effort to describe parental involvement, many researchers use a term “Transition”(Lombardi, Joan). “Transition” is used to describe the time period in which children move from home to school, from school to after school activities, from one activity to another within a pre-school, or from pre-school to kindergarten. The untiring endeavors of teachers in the phenomenon of transition cannot be ignored. They prepared the children and their parents to face the problems of adjusting to elementary school programs that had different psychology, teaching styles and structure than the programs offered at the kindergarten level. In the elementary level schools the teachers had to face serious challenges in motivating the parents to take interest in their children’s activities. The teachers adopted different methods to involve the parents in day-to-day classroom and home activities. They used to send notes, invitation of parent-teacher meetings, invitation of parental guidance sessions and training sessions, continuously directing the parent’s attention towards their children. Patricia Brown Clark suggests that it is very important to keep the line of communication between teachers and parents open, so that the parents can interact with the teachers and get up to date information of their children’s school activities. One way to involve parents is to schedule school events and arranging classroom activities such as volunteering for libraries, acting as classroom aides or efficiently organizing lunch breaks. The teachers also opt for making phone calls at the children’s houses to keep in touch with the parents and getting to know the extent to which they are contributing towards the welfare of their children. Apart from the above activities, the teachers also assign home activities for both the parents and their children so that the parents remain indulged in their children and the children get to study at home. However, it was a bad and disappointing experience for the teachers when many of the parents failed to respond as expected. Many of the parents were so overwhelmed with their official work that they could hardly take out some time for their beloved children.

Moreover, for some parents their schoolings were not positive and character-boosting experiences, therefore they preferred to keep a distance from their children’s school as well. This made it really difficult and at times impossible for teachers to bring the parental involvement to the desired level. Nevertheless, the activities of two teachers proved greatly fruitful in making parents involved in their children. They were Carlos Valdez, an art teacher and 8th grade class sponsor, and Mike Hogan, the school’s band director. They did it by involving parents in music festivals and other school ceremonies. They proved to be great examples for the future teachers to come.

If the children’s academic development programs are to prove successful they must share two characteristics:

1) Developmentally appropriate practice:

A child’s academic progress is clearly reflected by the appropriate practice he/she administers while in school life. During transitions from pre-school to kindergarten, a child if given the exact developmentally appropriate practice tends to learn a great deal of language and playing skills. He develops a keen interest in exploring his environments and interacting (without hesitation) with his adults.

2) Supportive services:

These include the assistance that the school provides to low-income family students. The services include health care, childcare and community care. This strengthens the relation between school and children and creates a sense of security and confidence among the children. They get to learn that their communities are a part of their school since the school’s supportive services strive to help community development.

It is commonly believed that children are good self-teachers. Their self-initiated strategies help improve their expression, creativity, intellectual capabilities and extra-curricular skills. This idea is proved by the documentation of young children’s work provided by Reggio Emilia :

“The Reggio Emilia educators highlight young children’s amazing capabilities and indicate that it is through the unity of thinking and feeling that young children can explore their world, represent their ideas, and communicate with others at their highest level.”(Edwards, Pope. C, Springate, Wright.K)

The climax rests in the fact that how the parents would know that their sincere involvements are really proving worthwhile for their children. The answer lies in the attitude of the children. The degree of parental involvement can be judged by a child’s attitude towards his school subjects, his academic desires and achievements. There is a direct relationship between academic achievements and the attitude towards school. Schunk in 1981 had the following idea of aspiration or academic desires:

“Level of aspiration is defined as one’s subjective probability that he or she will reach a certain level of education.”(Abu, H. & Maher, M)

As a result children who received adequate parental concern were found to be much more confident in their academic desires and achievements than those who could not get the right amount of parental concern. The individual involvement of mothers and fathers also plays a vital role in the behavioral development of a child. Students from one-parent household were observed to show less positive attitude towards schools and studies as compared to students from two-parent households. One study aimed at investigating parental concern showed that despite mothers’ sincere endeavors, the role of fathers could not be ignored and both served as an important foundation for the future progress of the child. This can be proved from the following fact:

According to a recent report from the National Center for Educational Statistics (1997), compared to their counterparts, children with involved fathers are more likely to have participated in educational activities with their parents (e.g., to have visited a museum or a historical site with their parents in the past month), and are more likely to have access to multiple types of resources at home as well (as measured by the proportion of parents who belong to community or professional organizations, or regularly volunteer in the community). (Flouri, E. And Buchanan, A, Pg.142)

Also, the parental involvement has been discussed and implemented in terms of interventions or prevention programs, which are nothing but safety measures taken to assure healthy and perfect upbringing of the child. The study uses school-based and home-only intervention programs to find out the extent of intellectual capabilities found in children from different family backgrounds. The success of one school-based interventions can be proved from the following fact, which was a part of “Education Service Improvement Plan 2001-2005” of Edinburgh:

—-The Scottish Executive Discipline Task Force, which studied the causes of poor behavior among pupils in schools produced a report of ‘Better Behavior – Better Learning’ in June 2001. The report included 36 recommendations for action, which were then turned into an Action Plan in 2002. Many of these have implications for the Education Authority. (Craig Millar Instep Project)

One of the first places a parent can go for help is parenting magazines. As a rule magazines will give a good overview on accepted thoughts on child development and health issues. Every once in a while a magazine will publish something that seems a bit off or contrary to common sense. This can happen can magazines can be inclined to be a bit sensational to sell more issues.

Another source of help is your child’s school counselor. They can be a great place to go if your child has learning disabilities or problems with friends in school. Anytime a child is having difficulty in school, a school counselor is one to approach.

Your child’s teacher is also a great source of help. A teacher spends hours a day in a room with twenty or more youngsters of approximately the same age. A teacher will have a good feel for what is the expected development for a child of that age. Teachers can also give an adult perspective of what is going on between one child and another at school.

The internet can be a dubious source of help for parents. Anybody can publish anything on the internet so be careful of this source. On the other hand the website for a real world parenting resource can be very helpful. An example of this would be the website for the La Leche League which offers breastfeeding support or the website for the American Academy for Pediatrics for children’s health issues. Parents can also find empathy and advice from other parents in forums, chat rooms and on blogs.

Your church or other religious affiliation can be a good source of help for parents. Churches can offer instructional support on parenting skills in the form of parenting classes or Sunday School classes. They can also offer practical helps such as babysitting, preschool programs, scouting programs and consignment sales for children’s clothing. They can be a social outlet for parents and their kids. They are also a good place to find other parents with the same values that you have.

Books are a great source of parenting advice by the experts and can be purchased online or in bookstores. Another great source of books is your public library. Books can give you the perspective from other parents, as well as educational and medical experts.

People you know like your friends who are parents, your own parents and your grandparents can be a source of help. Friends can swap babysitting, parenting anecdotes and sympathy with you. Your parents can also be a source of advice, but do not feel you must follow their advice just because they are your parents. You are still the parent of your child and must weigh all the advice you get before you choose to act on what feels right for your child.

Parenting is a difficult job and parents need all the help they can get. Every child, parent and family situation is different, so parents cannot automatically assume that advice will translate well to their own circumstances. However the above sources can be very helpful when considered with care. Sources such as these can be great for providing creative new ways of considering a problem and its solutions.

As parents of a teenager, you are now dealing with a new entity so you must adjust and acquire a new set of skills in terms of communication, discipline and conflict resolution. This is completely challenging and may knock you completely off guard if you are not prepared for the changes that lie ahead. It would then be wise to seek out information about teen parenting tips and get expert advice, otherwise you risk losing control over your teenager.

As your teen grows and changes, you must keep up and change as well particularly on how you view and treat this maturing person. You must face the fact that your child is no longer a baby and that he is going through the critical stage of transition to adulthood. Your support and guidance is needed more than ever, this turbulent stage poses tremendous pressure on parents because how you handle this stage could later determine your child’s final character. It is indeed stressful but it is also quite rewarding if you can react appropriately to this milestone in your teen’s development.

It may console you a bit to know that you are not alone and most parents also go through this turbulent and unpredictable stage of adolescent life. There are also tons of information and guidelines that you can take advantage of to make the transition as successful and problem free as possible. On the other hand, if you believe that you can no longer handle the situation on your own, you can always seek professional help before things spiral out of control.

Parenting Is A Priority

If you are raising children then you need to make parenting the priority. Many parents think it is more important to be to be their children’s friend than it is to be their parent. Let me be very clear on this point. Your children will have friends. They NEED a parent. It is ok to be friends with your child but you must always know when the parent needs to be present.

Be a Role Model

Children learn by observing role models. You need to realize that YOU are their role model. You need to set good examples for your child. I always find it funny how some parent will lecture their kids on important issues like smoking and drugs while smoking right in front of their children. Sorry, the adages do as I say, not as I do just doesn’t cut it in parenting. Be the role model.

Children Need Boundaries

Children MUST have boundaries. They need to clearly understand what the boundaries are and what the consequences are if they cross those boundaries. If your child breaks a rule, they need a consequence for that action. The consequence needs to be appropriate for the situation and consistent. Lack of follow through or consistency in consequences is one of the most common and the biggest mistake many parents make. It is much easier to maintain control if you don’t give it away!

In two parent homes BOTH parents must follow the same rules of engagement. Children are smart! They will learn to exploit any inconsistencies between parents. In Single parent homes make sure that any other person who might interact with your children is on the same page as you and doesn’t counteract your rules.

This is a hard one folks. In serious cases, don’t confront them when you are angry. Once you “loose it” and start yelling, you’ve lost the battle. It is much better to send them to their room until you cool down. This will also give you time to think about what you will say before you address the issue. There was more than one occasion when I grounded one of my daughters to their room for the rest of their lives! Do you think they believed me?

Quality Family Time is Important

Make time for family time. Family dinner is one of the best places for talking about your day and growing your relationship with your child. Shut off the TV or radio and listen to what they have to say. Building open honest communication with your children is important. You want them to be able and willing to come to you when they have questions or are faced with challenges that could have a profound affect on their life IF they make the wrong decision. This trust and openness is built over time by having good communication.

About The Author: With our latest adoption, two girls aged 2 and 5; we will have been active parents of children under 18 years old for almost 30 years. The required training classes, many hours of support groups for foster care and adoption, and trial and error, we have learned a few constants that have helped us tremendously. For more on parenting, adoption, foster care and a closer look at our family please visit us at For My Kids World

            Today, the one and the only question that is in the minds of everybody is “where are the youth of this generation going?” as the lifestyle and values of the youth is bothering the society to say the least. Though the  problems created by the youth and the problems faced by them are innumerable, it is not the state of affairs of the youth alone that is causing anxiety. The baby on its way into this world, new born babies and the children in different stages of growth  also face and cause problems. While trying to find the root cause of the problem it is the parents who are blamed for it, most of the time.   Though they are not the sole cause, they have a major role to play.   Their success in parenting depends on the kind of parents they are, their environment, the support from the family, the possibility of getting trained for parent hood, the level of education, the nature of the child concerned etc.,. The problems, mostly psychological, would vanish with proper  parenting.  In the early days, people mostly lived in joint families.  The experience and advice the young parents received from the elders, parents, aunts, grand parents, uncles, guided them in the process of parenting.  The children also had many people to support them, to allow them to vent their feelings and  to learn the probable ways of findings solutions to their problems.

True Story

            While talking to a group of adolescent girls shocking messages came to light.   Many of the adolescent girls were having illicit relationship with auto drivers with whom they were coming to school.   Deeper analysis brought out the fact that these girls were longing for love from their parents.    When an iota of love or something akin to it is shown by the auto driver, they easily fall a prey to the former’s devious designs; of course they suffer later when they find it difficult to extricate themselves from the driver’s clutches.    Only the parents can help these children.    One of the great, noble traits of parenthood is love  and that alone can cure many ills faced by the children and youth. It can help the girls to retrieve themselves1.

            In yet another instance, a 5 years old orphan boy in a care centre for the AIDS infected persons   stunned the onlookers by saying that if his father had had proper parenting, he would not have gone astray and ended with AIDS, infecting his mother too2. Even this small lad knows the importance of parenthood.   Everyone knows about parenting and follow the kind of parenting demonstrated by their parents or that which they have learnt through courses or training or advice given by psychologists or gurus.

Styles of Parenting:

            Just as there are different types of human beings, there are different types of styles of parents.    The parents’ style influences the level and kind of development of the child.    Whatever may be the style of parenting the essentials to be looked into are, “Express your love, make your child feel secure. Build their self-esteem. Stay flexible and recognize the time for change as your child grows. Communicate openly and honestly and be confident  in your own ability”3. When you talk to your child, you should be actually listening not just hearing.

            There are different types of parenting, such as “Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive4”.   Parents who are very clear about their role and give instructions with confidence can be considered as Authoritative.   The Reader’s Digest Great Dictionary of the English language shows that authoritative means commanding and self confident, while authoritarian implies, favoring or enforcing strict obedience to authority5.  It is similar to dictatorship.

            Another variety of parenting is known as permissive.  These parents allow their children to follow their own path, mostly non-interfering.   It is similar to saying, “let the sleeping dogs lie” as they are.   These parents do not want to follow any strict rules or take up much responsibility in bringing up their children.   There is another mode of classifying the parents.   According to this classification, there are three types of parents, such as Consultant, Helicopter, Dull Sergeants6.

Three Types of Parents

CONSULTANT

HELICOPTER

DRILL SERGEANT

This Love and Logic parent provides guidance and consultant services for children

This parent hovers over children and rescues them from the hostile world in which they live.

This parent commands and directs the lives of children.

1.

The Love and Logic parent provides messages of personal worth and strength

1.

provides messages of weakness and low personal worth

1.

provides messages of low personal worth and resistance

2.

The Love and Logic parent very seldom mentions responsibilities

2.

makes excuses for the child, but complains about mishandled responsibilities

2.

makes lots of demands and has lots of expectations about responsibility.

3.

The Love and Logic parent demonstrates how to take care of self and be responsible

3.

“takes on” the responsibility of the child

3.

tells the child how he /she should handle responsibility

4.

The Love and Logic parent shares personal feelings about own performance and responsibilities

4.

protects the child from any possible negative feelings

4.

tells the child how he / she should feel

5.

The Love and Logic parent provides and helps child explore alternatives and then allows child to make his / her own decision

5.

makes decisions for the child

5.

provides absolutes : “This is the decision you should make”.

6.

The Love and Logic parent provides “time frames” in which child may complete responsibilities

6.

provides no structure, but complaints, “After all I’ve done for you…”

6.

demands that jobs or responsibilities be done now

7.

The Love and Logic parent models doing a good job, finishing, cleaning up, feeling good about it.

7.

whines and uses guilt : “When are you ever going to learn.   I always have to clean up after you.”

7.

issues orders and threats: “You get that room cleaned up or else…”

8.

The Love and Logic parent often asks self, “Who owns the problem?” helps the child explore solutions to his / her problem

8.

whines and complains about having an irresponsible child who causes “me” much work and responsibility

8.

takes over ownership of the problem using threats and orders to solve the problem

9.

The Love and Logic parent uses lots of actions, but very few words

9.

uses lots of words and actions that rescue or indicate that the child is not capable or responsible

9.

uses lots of harsh words, very few actions

10.

The Love and Logic parent allows child to experience life’s natural consequences and allows them to serve as the teacher

10.

protects child from natural consequences, uses guilt as the teacher

10.

uses punishment; pain and humiliation can serve as the teacher.

Source: http://www.loveandlogic.com/pdfs/threetypes.pdf

One way to identify the kind of parents is by analyzing the kind of gifts they give to their children in order to make them do any specific activity.  Some parents have a survival mentality; they give their child “whatever” just to make them do the job. Some parents operate with a default mentality.    They give their child what is popular without considering whether it will be the most helpful. In actual practice the parent should be operating deliberately and purposefully, giving the child what is useful after carefully thinking through.    They are usually known as “intentional parents” 7.   Depending on what kind or type of parents they are, the goals, and gifts also change.    In the case of permissive parents, the guiding motive will be, “If I can just make it through the child – rearing years, I can get my life back”.   Their goal will be “jilting the kids out of the house”.  They follow the easiest method of doing whatever is easy to do.  Hence, they use bribes, threats and use TV as a baby sitter8.

            On the other hand, those “who want to give the child what will be best and most helpful for him”, will have the goal of preparing the child for life as a productive adult. They would spend quality time with the child, imparting ethical values to the child.  The gifts given by such parents would be, “religious books, enjoyable pastimes, academics, home skills and chances for socialization” 9.

            If a child is to be successful in life, the appropriate parental care is necessary.    But, of course, there are children who grow up into successful adults, in spite of defective parenting.   But such cases are very rare.   The society at present is facing problems of parenting especially in the case of single parent, divorced parents, simple and extended families. Most of the children brought up by single parent and unmarried mothers, find it difficult to cope with the pressures in the family and society.

Parenting Skills:

            With, hectic work schedule of the parents, the heavy load of learning coupled with  many distractions and the problems faced by the society, the children are looking for the support of their parents for a secure life.    It is ordinarily observed that parenting without proper foundation has always and indefinitely led to confusions in  child development.    What is essential is

Ø  Developing and clarifying clear communicative expectations.

Ø  Staying calm in the midst of turmoil

Ø  Encouraging positive consequences and consistency.

Ø  Being the role model to your child.

Ø  Effective praising.10

To be a successful parent discipline is necessary.  At the same time, there should be consistency in whatever the parents are saying and doing, parents should have a preplanned, pre-developed strategy to teach proper behaviour to the child. That is, both the parents,or the single parent should make their expectations clear to the child. , Both of them can sail smoothly while bringing up their child.    They should be very specific and firm in teaching their children. Moreover, the parents must take into consideration the child’s age, ability, developmental status and the resources that are available for the family.11   Once the expectations are clearly stated, it is necessary that both the parents should communicate it to the child, without contradictions.    In addition to these, there should be frequent family ‘get togethers’.  Instead of punishing the child for not abiding by the expectations, it will be better to have discussions to clear the child’s doubts and parents being role models.

            Ray Burke states that “Children can be sarcastic, defiant, rebellious and possibly violent, parents have to prepare themselves for times like these and learn to keep cool” 12.   Yet another way to increase or encourage desirable behavior is to use positive consequences.    What the parents should remember is to use the positive consequences that would work with the child.   While developing a child’s behavior the parents should remember “consistency”.    Consistency is the key to being a successful parent.    This gives the message to the child that “your parents are reliable and serious”.

            The most important aspect of successful parents is that the parents should be role model for their child 13. The parent should be a positive role model for their child to follow.    As Ray Burke say, “Praise is powerful…. Praise is nourishment.   It helps in the emotional development.  It helps in building up self-esteem, belief of personal satisfaction, feeling of security.”14    The praise should be communicated to the child either verbally or through action.

Parenting Skills :

Ø  Discipline

Ø  Education

Ø  Finance

With the social changes,  the extended family that existed earlier, which played the vital role of a model, a shock absorber, a vent for relieving one’s feelings has become a thing of the past.   Hence, the parents of the modern era have to learn creative ways of bringing up their children.   It is found that the most important but controversial parenting skills is DISCIPLINE.   Whether the method is, redirection, time-outs, loss of privileges, grounding, extra chores, or sparking, the parents should embrace their role to train their children to become moral and respectable adults15. The second skill to be acquired by the parents is regarding education.  The parents should also be educating their children in moral values.   The child’s education should take into consideration certain important facts16:

v  Family’s financial status.

v  Quality of local public and private schools.

v  Level of parental education.

v  Personalities of parents and children.

v  Home schooling support and resources.

v  The involvement of the parents in the child’s education.

Besides education, one of the important parenting skills is the effective way of dealing with financial issues.    The demand for expenditure for rearing the child, medical, hygienic needs etc. are soaring high today.     Hence, a successful parent should know what is essential and what is not before deciding upon the expenditure of the limited resources.

Conclusion

            There is no doubt that children bring us much joy and much responsibility.   Most of the stress and worry of bringing them up can be reduced or removed with proper, careful planning.    The parents should plan when to have a child.   The working mother, if she is to stay at home, once the child is born, should plan earlier to save as much as possible and cut down the family expenditure.   Both the parents have to plan to set aside enough time to be with the child, not only when it is a baby, but till the child becomes an adult.

             The parents, need not be only the problematic, should avail of training in parenting skill as much as possible. First of all, both parents should have a congenial and frank communication between them.   Only then, once the child comes into the family, they will be able to communicate with the child easily.   Further the “ego”, the concept of “I” should be relegated to the background.    It is possible that the child becomes sick at times mildly, at times seriously.    Both the parents should take responsibility of looking after the child, not blaming each other as the cause of sickness.    The child rearing, though filled with difficulties, hurdles and events that test one’s tolerance, is undoubtedly a pleasure.  It is a joy.   A successful parent should know how to smile.    That will reduce the stress and pain of the child.    As it grows into adolescent stage, the skills of the parents should be developed further.    They should know more about the physique, the psychology and mental development of the child.

            It should be remembered that the requisites of  an effective parent are dedication, attention, love and constant denial of easily administering swift punishment. Though parenting is time consuming, the fruits are very attractive.    The future generation and its success depends on the effective, successful and cheerful parents of today to a great extent.

END NOTES

1.       Author’s personal experience

2.       Ibid.

3.       http://www.raisingkids.co.uk 10.14.2008

Review
A delightful addition to the world of play therapy techniques! This well-organized volume, with over 50 contributors, offers a wide variety of activities in a quick and easy format for busy clinicians. It will surely become a well-used book for practitioners seeking creative and therapeutically-stimulating interventions for their child and teen clients. Highly recommended! –Athena A. Drewes, PsyD, MA, RPT-S, Astor Home for Children, Poughkeepsie, NYEvery so often a true gem is discovered in the field of child therapy that quickly becomes the gold standard. Liana Lowenstein skillfully selected some of today s best clinicians and combines their favorite techniques into a true treasure. Anyone who wants to help children, teens, and families overcome obstacles will want this book. I can t wait to implement these activities in my practice! —Scott Riviere, MS, LPC, RPT-S, Healing Kidz, Lake Charles, LALiana Lowenstein is well known in the field of children s mental hea (more…)

ReviewParenting Gifted Kids: Tips for Raising Happy and Successful Children by James R. Delisle (Professor of Gifted Education at Kent State University) is an informative and “parent friendly” reference for enabling a truly gifted child to expressively and productively achieve their life goals, develop sound character, and generally enjoy their life. Examining overly excitable children, the type of gift granted to each child, working with the school system, dealing with perfectionist children, being a positive role model, building a child’s character, and helping kids achieve their set goals and dreams, Parenting Gifted Kids is very highly recommended reading, especially to all new parents of a gifted child. –    —James A. Cox, Editor-in-Chief, Midwest Book ReviewParenting Gifted Kids: Tips for Raising Happy and Successful Children by James R. Delisle (Professor of Gifted Education at Kent State University) is an informative and “parent friendly” reference f (more…)