Cognitive Therapy for Children

It is not surprising at all that the question of zinc for ADHD children has received such a lot of attention recently. There are many reasons for this and I think the main one is that millions of people who are suffering a wide range of side effects from ADHD medications are desperate to seek an alternative. Natural ADHD treatment such as homeopathy and vitamin supplements are therefore getting a lot of deserved attention simply because there are no side effects and they will never have to cope with the discontinuance syndrome or withdrawal symptoms.The first real experiment on zinc for ADHD children was conducted in Tehran at the Roozbeh Psychiatric Hospital. It was a small group of children but they found that after a period of six weeks, the children who had been given a zinc supplement for ADHD got better results in the long term in reducing hyperactivity, restlessness and improved concentration. Further studies need to be done to confirm that a zinc supplement for ADHD will really be beneficial.What action does zinc perform in the brain? It helps to regulate dopamine which is a neurotransmitter in the brain which is connected with feelings of pleasure and motivation. Researchers have also found that children with ADHD do seem to have a lower concentration of zinc than normal children. If we can increase levels of zinc either through zinc rich foods or a supplement, then children are bound to benefit.The basic function of zinc, apart from contributing to the feel good factor, is that it is building block for protein and plays a vital part in healing wounds, tissue growth and maintenance and making blood. Foods which have a high percentage of zinc in them are eggs, cheese, yogurt, meat, seafood, cereals, nuts and tofu.If your child is vegetarian he or she may have to take a larger dose of a zinc supplement as the zinc content in plants is not absorbed very well by the body. If you decide that there is not much zinc content in your child’s diet and it does not include many of the foods listed above, a 15mg dose of a zinc supplement for ADHD every day will be fine.Zinc for ADHD children is just one part of a rather complicated mosaic but I am convinced that dietary change which will reduce processed and potentially toxic foods will be most beneficial for any child. The rest of the ADHD mosaic is made up of medication, behaviour modification therapy, parenting skills and school support and exercise. The risks of ADHD medications are now so well documented that parents are wisely considering alternatives. Homeopathic treatment for ADHD is now gaining popularity not least because there are no side effects and it costs much less.

I know parents who are desperate to try and treat their oppositional defiant disorder kids successfully and without going out of their minds. Basically, their kids are completely disobedient, hostile, aggressive and mouthy. Here are some successful strategies that we have tried in our family.

1. Help your child make choices. All the sites say that you must not give in and this is true up to a certain point. But what about discussing the various options and give your child some choices. Talk about the consequences and the rewards for the various options so that the next time he misbehaves , he knows what is going to happen because you have talked it through.

2. Show your child affection and love. That means giving praise and physical affection for good behavior. It also means praise gets top priority and bad behavior is minimized but never ignored. Spend prime time with kids doing enjoyable activities to empathise and bond.

3. Keep calm and avoid flashpoints. You know by now what is likely to cause tantrums and you which situations can de defused. Always discuss the child’s behavior after the event and avoid at all costs getting into shouting matches. This could show the child that shouting actually works, if you lose one particular battle. As the name oppositional defiant disorder implies, there will be opposition !

Following a child behavior program is the key to dealing with oppositional defiant disorder successfully. Discover more successful ways of dealing with this disorder by reinforcing good behavior and downgrading bad behavior. Group training in parenting skills or in any child behavior programs is a great way of dealing with oppositional defiant disorder.

ADHD medication gets more and more controversial with drug companies refusing to admit that there is any problem whatsoever with their mind-altering drugs such as Focalin, Risperdal and Concerta. Obviously parents want to know what are the alternative treatments for ADHD. Alternative can mean a host of things ranging from meditation ,diet, behaviour therapy, counselling, yoga, equine therapy, Bach flower remedies and biofeedback just to name a few.

The bottom line is that there is no cure for ADHD and medication by psychostimulants can only help control the symptoms of inattention, squirming, outbursts and inappropriate behaviour. There have been over 200 studies showing that medication can be effective in treating ADHD but these studies rarely mention the side effects and the risks. Not many people mention what are the alternative treatments for ADHD, simply because it does not pay them to do so.

Anyone can find the warnings on the boxes of tablets and can visit the FDA site which has been forced to issue countless warnings about what the risks are. They cover heart attacks, blood pressure problems, anxiety and depression, hallucinations and psychotic episodes and suicidal thoughts. There has been much debate about these warnings saying that they are useless and this is what you would expect from any medication. There are always side effects and risks.

But here we are talking about drugs affecting the brain development of our children. The drug companies cannot tell us exactly how these drugs work and furthermore will not reveal what the long term effects are or could be. Nobody knows or nobody is telling. There is simply no profit at all in publicising what are the alternative treatments for ADHD.

One thing is clear and that is that medication will not solve very much at all apart from keeping the child’s teacher off the phone and perhaps calming the child. Experts now agree at least, that medication must be carried out in conjunction with some lifestyle changes and behaviour modification. If this is not done, treatment may not work either effectively or efficiently and the ADHD child will be among the 60% of children who carry the condition into adulthood.

ADHD behaviour therapy or simply parenting skills is crucial in helping the ADHD child to avoid parent-child conflict and spoilt relationships with peers at school and at play. So what is the alternative to medication ? Certainly while vitamins and supplements and a nutritious diet can help a little, the main problem to be addressed is how to calm the child and help him focus without drugging him. When parents ask what are the alternative treatments for ADHD, the answer is that homeopathic and herbal remedies are by far the safest, most effective and cheapest option they can get. None of the websites on ADD and ADHD will tell you anything about this but the site below this article will.

Last week some kids may have went to the new film Band Slam, which shows the ups and downs of teenagers playing in a rock/ska band. This week, some fathers may be faced with inspired teens who now wish to start a band and may need some parenting advice on how to help their kids.

Once a teenager has assembled their band together, fathers should try to find a decent practice space for the group. A garage with sound proof walls may do the trick, as well as a basement. It’s also important to impose a strict schedule at the beginning to ensure practice doesn’t go past a certain hour.

It may also be frustrating for your child’s new band to compose their first song. If this occurs, suggest they start with a cover song (and an easy one at that). One of the important elements of a band is for them to be able to play together. Covering a song that everyone knows will help foster that.

When the kids are ready to start writing songs, consider going to the library and pick up a song writing book or look online. One way to help your child get some lyrics down is to buy them a notebook they can carry around with them, to jot down whatever inspiration comes to them.

Finally, when the noise starts to resemble music, call around town to local venues and ask whether or not they’ll take in local bands. Don’t worry if the gig is on a Tuesday night and three people show up. This is all part of the evolution of the band.

This is a great way for fathers to bond with their children, especially if both play musical instruments. One thing to keep in mind is to manage a child’s expectations and remind him or her that starting a band isn’t about making money and touring the country – it’s about bring people together who love playing music.

While some parents would rather avoid taking any sort of test that may put them in an unfavorable light or exploit them in a way that would judge their “parenting skills”, the recent hair alcohol test , developed by a team of English and German scientists, is a test that some parents are thrilled to comply with.

The hair alcohol test is exactly how it sounds: a test that proves whether or not you have abused alcohol by using your scalp hair as a sample. Unlike urine alcohol testing, which can only prove whether or not you have abused alcohol within a very small time frame of a week, with significant dilution hindrances affecting the test results, a hair alcohol test can prove notably longer time frame of abuse.

So why are parents eager to comply with this type of test? The hair alcohol test can disprove that someone has a history of alcohol abuse. Say a spouse gave false accusations about the other parent or legal guardian of a child that they were abusing drugs and alcohol and therefore was “not fit” to have custody of the child. A hair alcohol test taken by that person will show up to 12 months of abuse or lack of abuse by a per-month status. Using ethyl glucuronide, (EtG) alcohol testing technology, no other test in the world can give detailed results for hair alcohol testing. EtG alcohol testing allows a scientist to segment testing into months of abuse unlike previous FAEE, testing alone- which only shows alcohol dependency. FAEE or fatty acid ethyl ethers is a patented forensic process which reveals markers that are only exposed if a person has consumed alcohol. The more alcohol consumed the greater amount of FAEE and EtG markers become present in the hair.

This remarkable hair alcohol test is approved in the United States and British courts as viable evidence for proving or disproving whether a person is an abuser of alcohol or is not.

Besides innocent parents accused of being alcoholics, employers for all types of companies who perform drug testing, high school counselors and sports authorities are eager to use this new alcohol testing device to prove or disprove alcohol abuse over a long term basis of a person that was not previously possible before.

Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is regarded as a mental health disorder and often co-exists with ADHD as the two are closely related. As regards ODD, nobody is quite sure what the cause is but certainly there may be a genetic link, a neurological or biochemical component may also be contributing factors. Add to that the family’s reaction to the condition together with the child’s own personality and the clinical picture becomes rather complicated to say the least.

Basically, parents should note that violent and defiant outbursts which normally happen to any child, may be present rather often and persisting to the point that it interferes with the child’s development and is in marked contrast to other children’s development, particularly noted when comparing the child to his peers and siblings. The parents will note that there is not only an alarming frequency to pick a fight with figures in authority and parents always seem to be in the front line ! The child is angry, has frequent tantrums and is revengeful, argumentative and generally defiant.

What are the options for parents when confronted with a child who has oppositional defiant disorder? Certainly learning parenting skills is essential and especially as you are going to have to face opposition at every turn. That can usually be acquired by following a behavioral modification course or attending family therapy sessions with a counsellor which could be on the expensive side.

What sort of things will you learn so that you can make life bearable again in your family? Bonding with the child is important and the best way is to do some sporting activities and /or outdoor activities together. If there is an element of hyperactivity or just wanting to let off violent feelings, sports can be a great way of doing that. Add to that the releasing of the feel good endorphins and you have a healthy outlet for pent up anger.

Other options include remaining calm and avoiding situations which you know are likely to spark an outburst. Setting routines and eating together as a family can also help. Regular schedules offer a structure and this is important for the parties involved. If you find your child wants to pick a fight with you the moment you walk in the door, make sure that you establish an official winding down time so that both children and parents can begin to relax.

Behavioral therapy is the most important element in the treatment and medication is sometimes advised although you will need to look carefully at these as there are some nasty side effects. Experts now tell us that the behavioral therapy program is by far the most effective in dealing with oppositional defiant disorder.

It can be extremely difficult for the entire family to raise a child with ADHD. But learning specific parenting skills in relation to ADHD is extremely important for the health of the child as well as the relationship between child and parent. One thing that would be really useful for parents is to join a support group that is both educational and socially supportive. Here is where parents will learn how to deal with their special children and become effective parents.

One very important thing a parent needs to do is set clear goals for themselves and their children. After these goals are set, it is crucial to be as consistent as possible. Many times, if the child is old enough, you should include them in the goal setting process and allow them to help set the rules. This will tend to force the child to follow the rules better.

Keep in mind that a parent’s relationship with their child is essential in any family, but it is doubly important with ADHD children. For a relationship to work, you need both time and a willingness to listen. Spend at least fifteen minutes to half an hour a day with your child. Ask him or her about their day. Have a conversation or eat dinner with them. Simple things like this are the most important in keeping good connections with your child. By keeping these good connections with your child, you will be better able to see when to intervene if a problem should arise.

Even though it may seem like an ADHD child has more bad behaviors than good, emphasize the good ones as much as possible. The more you emphasize the good behaviors your child does, the better their self-concept will be. It is so easy for a parent to cause a bad self esteem in their ADHD child, so this should be foremost on your mind in order to avoid this potential hazard.

When your child has misbehaved, try to stay as calm as you possibly can. The more out of control you act, the less seriously discipline is taken. Make sure when rules are broken that there are very clear consequences and that they are delivered in an unemotional manner. Yelling at a child with ADHD is extremely destructive.

Give your child choices for what they can do. Do not tell them exactly what they will eat, wear and do. The more choices they have, the more independent they will become as time goes on.

Make sure that the relationship behaviors modeled between parents are good ones. Children watch what you do, and they will imitate what they see later on in life. Make sure your behaviors are positive ones.

It is important that parents have time for themselves, or it is only natural that you will become stressed out. This is especially true for mothers who always feel they need to give 100% of themselves at all times. Even as a mother, you are an individual and need to take care of yourself as well.

Remember to be strict but kind. It is good to be firm, but being overly firm is not good either. Make sure your children know the difference. It is not good to be overly passive either.

Many times parents run up against a legal system that seems to be indifferent to criminals. While a parent may know that the other parent has a criminal history, it seems that judges do not want to hear about it or don’t care what the charges were. Are the criminal charges relevant and how do you get them into your custody case?

While judges are not immune to the plight of a parent who fears for their child, it is a leap for them to go from a criminal charge to condemned parent. In order for the criminal charge to be relevant to parenting you must show that the type of offense would be unsafe for the child or create a pattern of bad choices that could be implied onto parenting skills.

The first hurdle you need to overcome is the problem of turning the  charge from an accusation into a truth. Just because you know they went to jail doesn’t create proof for the judge in family court. In order to show the court that you are not making unsubstantiated claims but that you are justifiably concerned, you need a copy of their record. How do you get their record? Simple. Most criminal complaints are public record and available at the criminal courthouse.

You can head down to the courthouse or even phone into the records research desk. They typically charge by the page so copying entire files can be expensive. Fortunately you don’t need the whole file. You only need the following:

1: Police Report2: Complaint3: Bench Warrant (if exists)4: Arrest Warrant (if exists)5: Final Disposition

The police report will give the penal codes and tell you why they were arrested. The complaint is what the district attorney decided to charge them with. A bench warrant is issued if they do not show up for court (they can just set a new date). An arrest warrant is issued when the suspect is known but not available for arrest.

Armed with this specific information you can include the details of their history and make your case about why you think their problems will create problems with the parenting plan. Like all motions make sure you do not focus on moral issues but instead focus on concrete issues. For instance if the parent has a drug problem, that would mean that their ability to make parental decisions could be impaired.

This could also prove helpful if the other parent has a roommate or significant other with a criminal history. Hanging out with criminal roommates shows a lack of good judgment.

Wanted: Parenting Upgrade To Overcome Blushing

Parents are not always to blame. Sometimes people are just born with a sensitive personality and even the hint of disapproval can trigger an avoidance response. Either way, you can create a new parent to help condition you to react more constructively, not only ending your blushing, but your social unease altogether.

Parenting yourself is exactly what it sounds like. Nurturing yourself with love, devotion, patience, and faith. Here a few guidelines.

Beliefs Of Nurturing Parents

Kids are a special gift entrusted to them to lovingly and positively encourage them and provide with what they need to fulfill their destiny

Critical remarks, insults, violence, yelling and other attempts at creating shame are not parenting, they are abuse

Talking, listening, and learning together are good ways of relating love and mutual respect

Having fun everyday is a must

Picture someone who displays these attributes. Or maybe pick one person is especially good at making you feel at peace and having fun, and another who really mentors with an encouraging, positive attitude.

Recall their words and actions to be sure they will make a good virtual teacher.

Choose one instance where blushing was a real problem for you. Go through the whole negative diatribe you laid on yourself about being clumsy, or stupid, or bad. What would your new parent have to say about that. Really imagine it, hear her or his voice.

Now say those words to yourself, quietly in your mind. Would she say something along the lines of “Never talk like that about yourself or anyone else.” And then smile and give you a big hug. Nurturing parents know blushing is a sign of needing a little confidence building, not deconstruction. Good parenting skills tend toward gentle shifts toward better directed energy.

Remember the Beliefs of Nurturing Parents list. Read over it everyday. Remember you have a special purpose on this planet, and right now we need all the bright futures we can get. Be patient with yourself as you grow, take the time to write down your feelings in a special notebook. Talk over your worries and fears with a trustworthy adult who has always treated others with care and respect. Practice statements in your mind that affirm the value of all people.

Here are some quick affirmations to get you started

Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.

People are more important than things.

Self respect is the greatest weapon.

Friends don’t encourage negative feelings, acts, or thoughts.

Learning about other cultures and philosophies can help us better understand ourselves and others.

Daydreaming leads to really great ideas.

Respect for others starts with respecting yourself and your belongings.

You really want to be prepared to answer mediators questions about parenting skills and styles if you expect to have a shot at an a successful custody agreement. If you have tried co-parenting with your ex but had it create more problems than solutions, then you may want to try a different approach.

Co-parenting is the “buzzword” that is always bantered about when people talk about parenting children after divorce. This is a great solution for parents that have low conflict relationships and can openly communicate about parenting issues. When high conflict parents try this and fail it is called Conflicted Parenting. Conflicted Parenting can be devastating to a child and cause tremendous problems.

Face the facts, if parents are high conflict, it may be in the best interest of the child to have less back and forth. It may be better to have one parent have the child for school and activities because the parents are too conflicted. The stakes are just too high to let the battle get in the way.

High conflict relationships seem to have a life of their own. Anything and everything seems to set off a firestorm. Even the slightest issue about the child will create a tempest that even Zeus could be proud of. So how do you approach this seemingly insurmountable obstacle of such an important element in your child’s life? The answer is known as Parallel Parenting.

The first step to implement Parallel Parenting is to disengage from the other parent. The second step is to develop independent relationships with your child’s teachers, coaches, doctor, and friends. You don’t want to rely on the other parent for your information.

Be prepared to take turns taking your child to the doctor, the dentist, and haircuts. If you receive report cards, make sure you make a copy and forward it to the other parent. Do the same with medical records, sports schedules, and other extra-curricular activities. If the ex is late for an exchange, let it go. Don’t argue over whose turn it is to do what. Time is on your side.

When it comes time to meet with the mediator and talk about custody and visitation schedules, you will be miles ahead if you can be honest about the high conflict relationship and the comfort of your parallel parenting plan. Document your relationships with teachers, doctors, and friends whenever possible.  If you can help with a project at your child’s school and get a thank you card, hang onto it. If you can coach your child’s soccer or little league team do it. Show copies of immunization records. Most importantly, show that you are involved in your child’s life.